The Ultimate Guide to Surviving Two Toddlers
If you read my previous blog post on surviving 2 under 2, this is a continuation of “Mastering Chaos: How To Survive Two Toddlers.” Maybe your 2 under 2 are now 1 & 3, or 2 & 3 (like mine are currently!). This blog post is your helpful guide with tips and tricks on how to survive this challenging time.
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase through these links, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you.
First, let me start by saying having 2 toddlers is not for the weak. While there are amazing, beautiful moments, let’s be serious. Having 1 toddler is hard enough, but having 2? It’s a whole new playing field (especially when they’re home with you 24-7).
Double the tantrums, double the mess, and double the chaos. My hat goes off to any triplets or twin moms out there.
I have found a few things that make the days a little more seamless, and some tips to help you along the way. Every day is not perfect, and trust me, we have all lost our S%*T on our kids before. Let this guide help you in your journey, and try to enjoy the ride.
Understanding the Mind of a Toddler
Parenting toddlers can feel like you’re trying to explain things to a wall sometimes. It’s important to remember that toddlers aren’t logical thinkers, like adults. What may seem like something is insignificant to us, seems extreme in our toddler’s mind.
Toddlers are curious by nature. They love to explore, are eager to learn, and want to assert their independence. Offering choices helps to empower toddlers to make their own decisions, which builds their self confidence.
Tantrums are completely normal and a part of their development. Understanding and respecting their emotions while providing a safe and nurturing environment helps foster healthy brain development.
For example, my daughter who is 2 is extremely strong-willed. Sometimes there is no stopping her tantrums no matter what I try. As long as we are in a safe environment (like our home or a park), I will sit next to her and let her know I am here when she is ready.
Sometimes she just needs to get it out, without me interfering. My son on the other hand, needs reassurance that I am here by cuddling him and embracing him. Every toddler is different.
The most important factor is to be patient and understanding, recognizing that tantrums are normal behavior for toddlers.
This is a great book on how to effectively communicate with your toddlers.
Get Your Two Toddlers on the Same Schedule
One day when my daughter was about 6 months old, and my son was about 19 months old, they both took a nap at the same time. This was one of the most glorious moments of my life.
Ok, not the most glorious moment out there, but it was such a relief and accomplishment. I have always followed age appropriate wake windows for both of my kids since they were newborns, and by doing this it created a solid sleep routine.
I wrote an entire blog post on getting your baby to sleep longer. Even if your child is now a toddler, these tips can be implemented if you’re having trouble. Read more HERE.
I was able to time my daughter’s 2nd nap with my son’s daily nap. This gave me about 2 hours of peace to clean up, reset, and do anything I needed to do without my kids being awake. It was a great refresher to break up the day.
Get your kids on the same nap schedule, feeding, and bedtime schedule. While one child may go to sleep a little later than the other, it shouldn’t be hours in between. Both of my kids have always gone to sleep within the same hour of each other, which makes all of our schedules pretty much the same.
Being a stay-at-home mom with 2 toddlers at home 24-7, this made everything much more seamless throughout the day. It also creates a routine and schedule that you can follow and plan around.
Toddlers also strive on routine, which is essential for their overall well-being and development. By having structure in place, it gives a sense of stability and predictability in their daily lives.
Consistency and flexibility are key in adapting the routine to meet the individual needs of toddlers, while promoting a balance of play, nourishment, and rest throughout the day.
Build a Support System
How to survive two toddlers? Meet mom friends who also have multiple kids and get together with them! Having a “mom group” once my 2nd was born helped the transition so much. I didn’t have one when I had my first child, and it was an extremely lonely experience.
I’m so fortunate for the mom friends I have made, and the experiences we share. We all meet up a few times a month, and it’s amazing to get your kids together to socialize, while also getting to unwind with your friends.
Don’t underestimate the power of a mom group, or even 1 amazing friend. Having someone there who is also experiencing motherhood is so easy to relate and vent to.
I have an entire blog post on finding mom friends which you can read HERE.
Navigating Sibling Dynamics
The transition to having a sibling for your older child is a lot for them to take in. My son didn’t even really notice his baby sister until she was probably around 6 months old! He was 13 months old when she was born, so he was pretty aloof to her existence at first.
When she became more mobile, he started to take an interest in her. I made sure to include him in everything we did together. Getting her binkies, preparing her bottles, giving her a blanket, kissing her goodnight when we left her room, and so on.
This made my older child feel included and involved, which set the tone for a good sibling bond (in my opinion at least, I’m not a doctor here). He is truly obsessed with his baby sister, but that doesn’t mean I’m not breaking up fights here and there.
You can read more about sibling jealousy from my blog post HERE.
A tip when you find your toddlers bickering is to separate them. I will put each of them on opposite ends, for example: my daughter coloring at the table while my son plays with dinosaurs in the living room. This gives them space and a minute to themselves while defusing the situation.
Involving your toddlers in activities together also encourages them to foster a sibling bond. Such as reading, coloring, building blocks and playing games.
Model the behavior you want to see from them by promoting positive conflict resolution. For example, if my son gets frustrated and throws a toy because his sister wants to play with it, I will pick up the toy, give it him, and show him how to hand it to her nicely.
This usually does the trick, but nothing is perfect. There will be conflicts you have to resolve and defuse. That’s just what it is when you have siblings!
Promoting harmony between siblings involves creating a supportive environment where each child feels safe, seen, and heard. By nurturing sibling relationships with love, patience, and guidance, parents can cultivate a strong bond that will endure and enrich lives.
Favorite Items For Surviving Two Toddlers
There are a few items that I use almost daily with my two toddlers, which I wanted to share. The first is our remote control two seater ride on car. These are pricey, but I have used this almost every day since we got one.
I found that going on stroller walks got boring for my kids, and they didn’t want to sit in the stroller that long. By getting a remote-controlled car, you can control it while they sit in it and they love it. There are a TON of different cars you can choose from, this one is the one I have and love.
Another lifesaver for surviving two toddlers is a stroller wagon. These are amazing if you’re walking around theme parks, going to the beach, or just want space that holds a lot.
When you have two toddlers, you quickly realize you need two of everything. Changes of clothes, extra diapers, water bottles, snacks, toys, it can be a lot to lug around.
Using a wagon like this one helps those outings become a bit less stressful. This is the one I currently use:
I have an entire “surviving two toddlers” list on my Amazon storefront which you can access HERE. Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase through these links, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you.
Key Takeaways For Surviving Two Toddlers
Raising toddlers, and kids in general, is extremely challenging at times but also very rewarding. No one’s parenting journey is the same, and we all make mistakes. Maybe you yelled at your kids too many times today, or you felt like you weren’t present enough.
Embrace the chaos and unpredictability of toddlerhood with a sense of humor and flexibility, knowing that each day brings new opportunities for growth and learning- for everyone.
Celebrate the small victories and milestones, cherishing the precious moments of joy and connection with your little ones. It’s okay if you don’t enjoy every moment. Sometimes you’re just watching the clock until bedtime. We’ve all been there.
Toddlers will push your patience and your limits. It’s important to remember they are learning and absorbing everything as well.
Embrace the journey with an open heart and a resilient spirit, knowing that the challenges of today will shape the memories of tomorrow.
You may also enjoy:
• 2 Under 2: Tips For Surviving The First Year
• FREE 20 Page Busy Mom Planner